Back To School
by MusiKiss1
Summary: Our Summers coming to an end, but is Inuyasha and the gang really ready to go back to school? Are the Teachers? Based on South Park dialog


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or South Park!

Back To School:

~By Musikiss1~

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"No, NOOOO!" shouted a hunched back old man clawing at the doorframe to hell. He was completely bald; (save for a few hairs on his old pruned head) wore an off grey suit and striped tie, and had enormous eyes that looked like it would take forever to blink over.

"We know you don't want to do this Mr. Toutosia, but it's your job damnit, not get your old ass in there, and educate those teens!" shouted an aggravated, young, black haired woman; currently trying to force the old man through the door. "Mr. Toutosia, come on, what's the big deal, its nothing new, their even the same kids from last year," She explained with a huff, giving up and placing her hands on her hips.

That's what he was afraid of.

Standing up taller to face the young principle, he gulped nervously. "The same ones from last year?" at her affirmative nod, he continued, "Everyone, down to that lecher to the wolf?" taking a deep breath, he let out the question that he had been fearing the most. "Even…Inuyasha?" he squeaked.

Smiling brightly, the principle nodded her head yes a second time. Grabbing the now sweating teacher by the elbow, she attempted to lead him in. "Yes, all the same, you even have a few new ones as well."

Toutosia paled and turned ready to sprint at a speed that an old man his age shouldn't be able to reach. "Ah ah ah," the principle tutted, "This way, Sensei, and stop being so nervous, you look like you've just seen a ghost. Now remember the schedule, rules, -since you are a very forgetful man- and grab their attention," she said pushing the half dead looking being to the second door; the door to hell.

As she turned, ready to shut the previously crossed door, she looked up and spoke in an uneasy tone over the noise beyond the second door, "And don't be afraid to take control!" And with that, shut the door and left; leaving the cowering old man in a tiny space with a door on each side of him.

He could go through the first door, back out to the hall way, and flee, or go through the second one, and begin the start of a horrible nine moth ritual.

Wait, he didn't have to think about it, he knew in his heart what to do! Turning so fast he almost got whiplash, Toutosia reached out to grab the knob to freedom, the hall, to safety, then he heard the door click. "And don't even think about escaping this year Toutosia, were locking you in till lunch," came a muffled voice from the other side of the door.

Damn, the Kami's really weren't on his side were they?

Guess he had no choice now, door number two it was.

He took a deep breath, gathered his Barings, and stepped through the classroom door of the specially challenged. I mean how bad could it possibly be? They were just kids right? After all, it was a new year.

……………………………………………………………………………

Hell, it was pure hell. A shouting, standing on desks, music blaring, I-pods going, nightmare! Ducking as a peculiar wadded up piece of paper came flying towards his head, the old man sighed. Oh how he hated his job.

"E-excuse me, Quiet, c-class!" stuttered the old man, slightly shaking behind his desk at the front of the class room. "I need everybody to listen, please if I could just have a moment of your time to-" Bam! -someone broke a desk. "Hey now, that's school property," Toutosia stated a little more forcefully. They weren't listening. "Please, listen," -laughter- "that's it, I'm taking control!" raising a stack of books high over his head with newly found strength, he dropped them in mid air creating a large bang, "QUIET!"

That got their attention, wait their attention! Panic, all eyes on him! Murderous glares and death stares, the old man did the only thing he could do, he played it _cool_…

"Sit your scrawny asses down and be quiet!" the sound of feet shuffling along with seats scooting across the floor filled the room. "Good, now that I have your attention,"

-Someone let out a loud, obnoxious cough- "I would like to introduce my self. As most of you know, I am Mr. Toutosia, and I am your new home room teacher this year."

–Some boo's filled the air- "oh believe me, the feelings mutual," He muttered. "Now I'm going to start off right away with a few math lessons, to see what you remember over the summer." At this the class groaned. "Ok children" –someone scoffed-, "what is five times two?"

-Silence-

What the hell? They were a class of **sophomores**, did he believe anyone would actually-

In the back of the room, a short boy with red hair raised his hand.

"Yes Shippo?" asked Mr. Toutosia asked, preparing for his first answer.

"Twelve."

The old man shook his head in dissapointment. Did he really think this year would be any differant? "Ok, now lets get an answer from someone whose now a complete retard."

"..."

"I think I know the answer Mr. Toutosia." A young blue eyed wolf demon said, raising his hand after a few minutes of silence. A few snickers were heard around the class.

"Meh meh meh meh meh meh," A golden eyed, silver haired being mocked.

"Shut up half-breed!" the wolf demon snarled.

"Hey, don't call me a half-breed you fucking wolf," said half-breed shouted.

"Inuyasha, did you just say the "F" word?" the half bald teacher shouted in outrage.

"Wolf?"

"No he's talking about fuck. You can't say fuck in school you fucking dumb ass."

'"Kouga!" Toutosia alarmed.

"Why the fuck not?!"

"Inuyasha!" the teacher continued to name off.

"Dude you just said fuck again." a young boy dressed on a ridiculous purple shirt stated.

"Miroku!" things were getting out of control.

"Fuck."

"Shippo!"

"What's the bid deal it doesn't hurt anybody- fuck, fuckidy, fuck, fuck, fuck," Inuyasha stated plainly, crossing his arms.

-Take control!

"Ungrateful pup, how would you like to go see the school counselor?" that should get him, teach him to talk such vile-

"How would you like to suck my balls?"

---Nani!?

The class gasped, mouths covered, pencils dropped… he took it a little too far this time, what a great way to start off the first five minutes of class!

Eyebrows twitching, veins popping, "What did you say?!" The teacher shouted in outrage and disbelief.

Boy in accused cleared his throat. "Oh, oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what I said was: How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Toutosia?" the half demon finished loudly, standing up on his desk.

-Silence…

"Holy shit dude…" someone muttered across the room

"Sango, my love, 'Shit' is not holy." Miroku said matter-of-factly, swinging around to face 'his' beautiful burnet.

"What if you take one in a holy place though?" asked a red head, wolf demon; the last conversation already, completely forgotten.

Miroku rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger thoughtfully, looking upward "Depends, like where?"

"How 'bout a catholic schools bathroom," chimed Sango's best friend, Kagome, causing Inuyasha's attention to go from the frantic teacher, and turn to the current topic.

"Then no," Miroku stated shrugging.

"You're kidding?" she asked.

"I kid you not."

"You can't be serious!" Inuyasha marveled, sitting back down in his seat backwards.

"Entirely," Miroku stated flatly.

"Then what about-"

Meanwhile, in the front of the class room, an overly stressed and under paid old man sat isolated, sulking under his darkened desk (away from any prying teenager's view) with tears gathering in the corner of eyes, and weeped. "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

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Ok, I'm not really the best author but eh? I don't think its bad…

Idea is obviously because our **summers coming to an end!** So when we go back to school just be prepared to give 'em (teachers) hell.

As for the comment on Miroku's shirt, personally I like a guy in purple O.O I don't mind that pink shit.

The suck my balls stuff was south parks dialog, that I've obviously changed around to fit Inuyasha, you can watch a video on YouTube; watch it, laugh, love it, if your into that kind of humor, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for comity!


End file.
